So, back in the spring I had this idea that I wanted to have a year where I focused on joy. And I’m still there — the fact that I haven’t written about it is far more about not having a steady blogging habit (WHAT’S UP 2021 WE GONNA DO THIS BLOGGING THING?!?) than it is about not having thoughts about joy.

But early December life threw me a bit of a curveball — as of the end of February 2021 my current employment is going to come to an end (no shade on my employer, the pandemic has been hard for everyone and they made a tough choice) and suddenly I found myself, well, in between.

Here’s the definition of liminal, if you’re interested:

Cool, I mean, I named this site after that whole concept. But also I kind of hate it, especially if I have entered a liminal state because of someone else’s choices. It’s DEEPLY uncomfortable.

Coincidentally enough, I had registered in November to be part of a program run by Molly Mahar of Stratejoy called The Holiday Council. HoCo runs for three weeks in December and consists of three “phases”: Release & Renew, Dream & Scheme, and Plot & Plan (really, go check out the website). A key outcome from the Dream & Scheme phase is to come up with a theme for the year and several “ways of being.” So what follows is what emerged for me during that phase of work:

2021 Theme: Liminality

After finding out about my job, I really gave hiding under the bed a solid try, and it didn’t pan out because my big scary feelings were hiding under there with me. So… Opposite Day. Opposite Year. For the first time ever I am seeing uncertainty in front of me and Jumping TheFuckIn. I am going to cherish the ever-loving hell out of the Big Unknown.

Ways of Being

Mythic

I love a good epic saga, and most of those kind of stories is liminal space. There’s a me who is a diamond in the rough, kept secret all these years from… me. Secret diamond me is going on a hero’s journey starting now.

Embodied

2020 my body and I got friendly again after a really long time. But we’re still like work friends who get along but don’t talk about anything serious. 2021 we’re going to be besties. That means me and my body are the only ones who get to decide what we eat and how much we move — and we decide who to trust to help us with that.

Authentic

Of course, I can think of a number of places I don’t want my epic journey to go. But I’d rather chart my course according to what I DO want rather than what I don’t —- and I haven’t really put the effort into figuring out what that is. My commitment to liminality means I don’t have to figure it out all at once (rushing into decisions because of the fear of not being certain is kind of my trademark move) but I do have to escalate “being authentic” to the top of the list as I travel this road.

Faithful

I think in liminal spaces it’s still wise to have anchors — I just need better ones than, say, “other people’s opinions” or “previous 5-year career plan.” I’m feeling the call to regular spiritual practice, study and ritual.

Connected

Finally, and this is probably my least developed WOB, I want to make real honest to goodness emotional connections with other people. I say it’s not well developed because (and this might sound weird) I actually am not totally sure how to simultaneously be authentic to myself (and my boundaries) AND have these kinds of connections. The scripts that say people won’t like me as I am are pretty embedded. But it kept coming up so here we are!

It’s a start — let’s see where it goes.

A